Yesterday–
I went to the drive-thru at Starbucks.
As the barista handed me a cup
of hot, black coffee–
The tips of our fingers brushed
ever so slightly,
for less than half a second.
And as I took my first bittersweet sip,
I realized–
That was the only human touch,
I had felt in nearly six months.
. . .
And I took another sip.
And thought about killing myself.
And I took another sip.
And tried not to think about killing myself.
And I took another sip.
And tried not to think about thinking about killing myself.
And I took another sip.
And another.
And another.
Until the cup was half full.
The Rookery 
This is brilliant! I love the twist at the end.
Also … please don’t kill yourself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, I am working on it. Savoring a food or drink is a grounding technique to draw your mind away from anxiety and thoughts of self-harm. I’m getting help, just working through some of it creatively.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thinking of you, my friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The ending of a cup half-full is heartening, though I hear the pain that precedes it. How are you doing? Have you refilled your cup?
LikeLike
It varies. Mostly good. Just have my moments.
LikeLiked by 1 person
How are you?
LikeLiked by 1 person
My mood’s been down due to poor air quality, but both seem to be improving gradually.
LikeLike
Are you around all the fires then? I have a lot of family out west. They’ve been dealing with quarantine by getting outside into nature, and now that’s off the table too. 😦 Hope you are able to stay safe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I count myself as lucky because I’m not in any immediate danger from the fires, but the smoke is still terrible. I’m hoping for rain soon so that the fires finally end!
LikeLiked by 1 person