A Banana Hammock Limerick: There once was a man they called Hulky-- Whose strict discipline made him quite bulky ---He was never one to indulge ---So much as a yank of his bulge And that's why he was always so sulky.
Still I'll Survive You may squash me with your shoeswith their laces neatly tiedYou may grind me into the asphaltBut still, I'll survive.Does my hardiness upset you?How foolish you should presumeThat I wouldn't make my homeBeneath the rug in your living room!With every turn of the seasonThough in the cold I may hideI'll return with … Continue reading INKTOBER 2019: Day 20. Tread
Leg end Right there, about at the ankle. .... What? ... That's the leg end. ... Where the leg ends. ... ... ... ...I'll see myself out. ...but just because I have to stretch my legs. I HAVE NO REGRETS. Screenshot of Hana from Fire Emblem Fates
Look! I bought markers! The Satyr I tell you the truth, this is no lieabout how it was the satyr died:He lived in a grove of shady oakswith other lusty satyr blokes.He chased the nymphs as he was taught,but there was one nymph who would not be caught.He followed her into the forest deepwhere strange … Continue reading INKTOBER 2019: Day 14. Overgrown
Oh, how the tables have turned. The Dragon Feast Sick of eating only sour carp and nasty sturgeon--The dragon went in search of tasty virgins.He thought he had found a smorgasbord--But instead was devoured by a virgin horde!
A horse is a horse of course, unless it's miserable Ted The Scary Godmother Ted Garcia Morales had a fairy godmother,And she was a madrina like no otherLess bippity-boppity, more hella scary--But what can you expect from a skelefairy? The very first time that they met,Ted begged her for an enchantment.She obliged, and without remorse--She … Continue reading INKTOBER 2019: Day 7. Enchanted
I mean, just look at him--hardly any meat on those bones! Sticks and Stones and Bared Bones Did I ever tell you the story of Gordie Landusky?The boys used to taunt him, 'cause he was, y'know, kinda husky.He tried to tell'em he wasn't fat, he was just big-boned.But they'd spit in his face, and hit … Continue reading INKTOBER 2019: Day 6. Husky
But how did he get up there? It's Not That Bad It's neither vile gossip, nor vicious rumor--It's just a little gallows humor.
My dad used to tell me this is how he changes his mind. Don't Worry, Be Happy Are you weighed down with worry and care?Perhaps you should blame what's beneath your hair.Just saw a bit and scoop it out--that beleaguered brain all full of doubt!You'll find that you can do without.You won't even notice how … Continue reading INKTOBER 2019: Day 2. Mindless
The most romantic way to give someone the finger... Mortimer Bixby's Marriage Proposal Mortimer Bixby fell in love with an opera singer.She was one half of a pair of singing sisters.Each was for the other a total dead ringer,But only one wanted to make him her misterMortimer loved only one of the two,But not the … Continue reading INKTOBER 2019: Day 1. Ring