Still I’ll Survive
You may squash me with your shoes
with their laces neatly tied
You may grind me into the asphalt
But still, I’ll survive.
Does my hardiness upset you?
How foolish you should presume
That I wouldn’t make my home
Beneath the rug in your living room!
With every turn of the season
Though in the cold I may hide
I’ll return with the warmth of spring
In the soil, I’ll survive.
Did you want to see me trapped
Caught in jars just like fruit-flies?
On my back kicking helpless
Until I shrivel up and die?
You may bomb me with poison gas
You may try to burn me alive
Through the lens of a magnifying glass
But still, I will survive
Does my mating call upset you?
In its sound you realize
That millions of my born brand new
offspring will under your fridge hide!
Out of the kitchen corners
From underneath the floorboards
In nuclear winter or earth on fire
I’ll keep going, I’ll never die!
Laying my eggs in your ear!
Swimming drunk in your favorite beer!
Carrying disease and dirt and shit
Covering all of your food with it!
You can’t kill me
I’ll never die!
–Dr. Cuca Rachelou
I think some of you will probably get this right away, but just to clarify for those of you who aren’t familiar with the original, the above is a very dumb spoof of award-winning memoirist and poet Maya Angelou’s famous poem “Still I Rise” (see video below).
She was also in the made-for-TV adaptation of Alex Haley’s Roots of which grade-A-certified DILF LeVar Burton was the star. This story from Burton’s reddit AMA a few years ago where he tells about his experience with her on the set was the inspiration for my nonsense.
Ok, to be totally honest, Gloria Gaynor also deserves a mention for this one.
And also this one, just because you’re fabulous and you deserve it.
Happy Sunday everyone!!!!